Down The Garden Path »

Down The Garden Path

This section is dedicated to sitting back and doing nothing – without the danger of a rocket grenade landing in your swimming pool.

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Mothers Day Ecards, Maybe Next Year? - 09 Mar 2010

Perhaps next year, when I’m a rich man – tra-la-la-la-la – I’ll return home with a computer, an internet connection and bundle load of ecards for her.

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Thank You Product Designers for Contact Lenses and Central Heating - 05 Mar 2010

Central heating I imagine was just a very gradual development of different heating methods. But however it worked – it’s fantastic. When the heating comes on on a cold winter evening, you realize how much better you feel. I don’t know how famous writers used to sit crouched over their desks I the freezing cold. How can your brain work when it’s really cold? That’s genius.

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Choosing Wedding Venues is Hard - 01 Mar 2010

In simple terms you can get married pretty much anywhere. Once you’ve absorbed this, you realise what a mammoth job it is to choose somewhere. You could choose your local pub, or you could choose your local church. But equally, you could choose the roof of a skyscraper too.

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A Scottish Car Hire Story - 01 Mar 2010

So anyway, this Spaniard did crash at one point. But he actually crashed on the RIGHT side of the road – that is, the LEFT side of the road. He drove into the side of a van, which caused quite a bit of damage to the car – and the van.

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Photobooks Could Be Your Legacy - 22 Feb 2010

When it comes to sitting round that coal fire that you’re never going to have, with your offspring’s offspring, telling stories about what you did when you were a young ‘un – you’ll have a huge stack of photobooks with which to demonstrate how much fun you’ve had.

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Baby Names, Give Your Baby One Of These - 16 Feb 2010

No one is quite sure what would happen if you did not give your baby a name. Would the State give it a name? Is there any precedent for this? Anyway, the important thing is to give your child a name, as it saves a great deal of confusion later on.

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Rabbits V Squirrels - 09 Feb 2010

In terms of having a sense of humour, the squirrels come out on top too. Presumably, they don’t really have a sense of humour, and are just perky look rats with bushy tails. They share this same characteristics with penguins – which are equally hilarious. Aren’t they?

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We Wish We’d Stayed In Storage: Ipswich Live Music Woes - 08 Feb 2010

To be honest, when we were in that room listening to heavy metal come through the ceiling (we couldn’t even watch TV) we thought we would have had a better night if we went and slept on our sofa in the storage Ipswich place.

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Scraping Lasagne Off With Catering Equipment - 05 Feb 2010

Ultimately though, my time in that hospital kitchen was very rewarding and a lot of fun. I got to meet some great characters whilst there – many of whom I’m still in contact with. They taught me how to cook chips straight from frozen – and not to mention how to scrub lasagne off a tin.

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Picture Books Make Magaluf Look Awesome! - 03 Feb 2010

I only came across them when my best mate Alfred was showing me his holiday snaps from Magaluf. These pics were pretty good – but they were made all the more interesting by the fact that Alfred had got all his images printed a photobook! It was great – it really added a certain professionalism to his photography.

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