It sounds really cheesy (no, this is not a Roquefort focussed blog), but I did actually have Champagne whilst in Paris recently. I had it in the restaurant area of the Eiffel Tower, where I also proposed marriage.

But due to the fact that buying Champagne was ‘too ostentatious’ I was turned down on this occasion. I thought the occasion merited it – but it turns out she doesn’t like Champers. She said I never listen and how could we base a marriage on not listening. She said something like this but I can’t remember exactly.

On the plus side, the champagne tasted amazing – and I ended up drinking it all by myself. Sounds sad, but it was good fun. At least, it was until I tried to clamber over the side of the Tour Eiffel. They told me to ‘get off Rosbiff’; where is your French liberty now?

Still, I had a lovely time in Paris, where the bread, cheese and wine were of extra-ordinary quality. It was a lot friendlier than I was told, too. I highly recommend it as a place to go and enjoy a nice glass of bubbly or 9.