When I was living the beautiful city of Melbourne, I got a job working in corporate events. I’d done quite a few jobs before this, most of which were out-with the city limits and involved picking peaches and staring deadly spiders in their hairy, 6-eyed faces. So I decide to get some real work, and I eventually landed a job with company that dealt with new houses across the city.

With over 3 million citizens, it’s no wonder that there were so many of these events going on. I was hired as a waiter-come-servile person, handing out Champagne and dishing out vol au vants to fat businessmen – and some slinky businesswomen. The tips we got were great and we certainly got to eat well – there was so much wastage at these events!

I remember one particular waiter I was working with – a Canadian – who was particularly good with the female clients, being as he was a handsome devil. And for a Canadian, he was pretty charming, too. Over the time I worked there he developed a reputation for himself with the ladies, but I couldn’t really understand why these female pillars of the Melbourne business community found him quite so appealing. Why did he receive so many 50 dollar tips?

This young man was in charge of the coats, and as such he had the key to the room where they were all kept. He was particularly keen to be in charge of all the coats, but one day a businessman at one of these events asked me to put his briefcase in the room, for safe keeping. I couldn’t find this Canadian, so I went up to the coat room to see if he was there. I pushed the door and to my surprise found it unlocked.

To my lasting astonishment, they were playing scrabble.