Costa del what? Fala-whatti now? No, no, no – this article series is all about precisiely the last places you might consider taking your family. OK, we’re not talking Beruit here – but the three unusual vacation spots in this series are sure to put a look of astonishment on your face.

1. Novi Becej: his delightful little town in the north of Serbia – yes that’s right I typed ‘Serbia’ – is sure to charm your little socks off. Apart from the massive vegetables that grow there – yes, that’s right, I typed ‘massive’ – the people are great. The younger members of the community all speak English (comparable to the Dutch in level), and so you’ll find no problems getting around. What’s more everyone will love practicing their English on you.

Every summer there is an arts festival here which encompasses all sorts of weird and wonderful arts and crafts. Poetry reading, theatre, environmental artworks – you name it. They even have a fish soup competition (yes I typed ‘fish soup’) and if you’re very lucky you just might get asked to talk about your feelings regarding fish soup live on Serbian TV.

If you get bored of talking about fish soup (or indeed get completely disgusted by the smell) you can always dive into the surprisingly warm water of the River Tisa, which although is covered in loads and loads of grotty green weeds – offers an fun way to spend an hour or 9 (perhaps enveloped by hot Serbia chicks).

If you get totally overloaded psychologically by fish soup and green river weeds (and hot Serbia chicks), why not gate crash a Hungarian wedding (there’s loads of them in this part of Serbia) where you’ll see some proper mental dancing and some dodgy-looking food. It really is a lot better than I made it sound.

Visit Novi Becej Now if you want.