If you’re one of these people who has some perverse penchant for crystal blue waters, soft sandy beaches, and stunning little pacific islands – then you should probably propose marriage to Fiji.

You might think that Fiji is some rosy-cheeked harlot who will swoon at the merest mention of getting hitched to you.

But you’d be mistaken.

As far as Fiji is concerned, having you roll about on her salty fringes is not going to set her pulse racing. Standing underneath Fiji’s palm trees and looking up at her coconuts is going to be a real turn off for this madam.

You might think you know Fiji: you might think she’s all about endless sunshine and snorkelling with eye-poppingly beautiful fish.

You’ll soon discover, however, that Fiji is much more about really long days under the sun and submerging yourself in her coastal waters whilst looking at visually appealing sea life.

You may be under the impression that Fiji’s lush green rolling curves are an invitation to explore her foliage. But Fiji’s plants are much more difficult to get into; you might have to get a local bus or perhaps hire a cab.

The way to Fiji’s heart is by showing her genuine respect (or getting a bus there as mentioned). But as well as respect, rolling around on Fiji’s attractive hillocks is made much easier if you get hold of a little local Kava. Grown across the Pacific (on the islands, silly), Fiji will be a lot more accommodating after a little of this intoxicating root drink.

She just needs a little drink to get her warmed up, that’s all.